Session 5

Dissension In the Ranks:  Day 6 started with heated conversation between the party and their guide Azaka.  Questions were raised as to the practicality of direction into Goblin territory to recover the construct.  The party finally agreed to head south on the river to camp Vengeance leaving Azaka still dissatisfied with the direction of the journey.  

Back In the Boats:  Early in the afternoon, a rare sunny day worked it's way in the river Shoshenstar bringing with it aggressive bugs and oppressive heat..but at least it was dry for once.

 The little Prankster:  Paddling along with river, the party noticed a invisible presence zipping around teasing and taunting, giving each boat a small irritation of its own.  The tiny beast finally revealed itself after breaking wind in Arlen's face...a smell of brimstone and bad fruit.  Johfra spoke draconic only to scare it off.

DM note:  Johfra has had a real attitude problem as of late.  I guess when you're slowly dying perspectives change.  I mean..really...who scares off a tiny harmless dragon...might be an appropriate time for a visit from Bahamut.  


Raging River Falls from Hell!:  The river began to change.  First, it was the canopy.  The trees thinned somewhat, allowing shafts of light to play across the surface of the river, brightening the area.  Then the foliage seemed more vibrant, the water clearer, and even the very air seemed different.  The current of the river up until that time  placid and quiet, began to quicken...then all hell broke loose!

Characters were attacked by an assassin vine immediately before being hurled over a series of treacherous water falls.

Fortunately for the party, a small creature took some amusing interest in the trials of the party as they fought to survive the perils of the river.

Of the three boats, the first boat fared the best making it the entire distance of the river rapids fairly unscathed.  Others didn't have so much luck.  Cogar, Ka'sais and Johfra were caught up in the assassin vines being bludgeoned and poisoned.  Johfra later reflected at the thought of his death being dealt by a jungle plant far from his glory days of fighting giants and restoring the ordining.  Arlen and Peter struggled to stay on the canoe as it tumbled repeatedly over the falls.

When it was all over the party managed to survive only to meet at the bottom of the rapids by a plant munching Brontosaurus.  Attemps to communicate with the enormous beast only mildly frustrated the group.

DM note:  Brontosaurus INT = 2

Foraging:  An interesting turn of events as party members amused themselves to figure out how to have a chimp toss down a pineapple from 20ft up.  Each (most I should say) attempted to temp the primate but only Karn was able to achieve success in a way only Karn could muster.  The angry chimp tossed down the inedible  portion of the fruit only to have Karn expend a KI point and crit it in the head, dropping both the chimp and the pineapple.  Well done. 

Karn’s Guide to Pineapple Throwing

With this guide, you too can strike jungle animals tormenting you with food!

Step 1: Drink. Find your favorite spirit, ale, wine (I love a good beer myself) and chug away.

Step 2: Don’t pass out. (Elves you may have some issues, but I believe in you…..mostly)

Step 3: Be the pineapple of which you are throwing. Visualize the demise of your target and let that fill your mind.

Step 4: Don’t forget to keep drinking. Even while doing these other things, important to keep that up. Just trust me okay?

Step 5: Fill your Pineapple with a murderous intent. Not literally but spiritually fill it and release it towards the unfortunate target.

Step 6: If you did all these steps correctly, watch as your target falls to its demise. If it missed, you didn’t drink enough. Repeat steps 1-5 until successful or passed out.

Hits can be celebrated with cheers, laughs, awkward silences, or my personal favorite. More alcohol.

With this guide, you too can be a pineapple thrower and in time make this applicable to citrus product.

This has been Karn Earthshatter, and I hope you have found this guide useful.

Until next time, stay safe out there in the jungle! If this is something you enjoyed please relay praise to Karn Earthshatter. For any complaints please file them to Tot Productions Inc.

DISCLAIMER:

Karn Throwing Tips INC. Is not responsible for any damages to personal property in event of a critical miss. Nor is KTT Inc. responsible for doing things such as throwing pineapples at dinosaurs, giant apes, crocodiles, etc. Such risks are taken by the user with the understanding that this is a very dumb thing to do. Such injuries resulting in these actions such as: beheading, disembowelment, loss of limb(s), citrus in eyes causing irritable reactions or blindness, etc. does not fall onto KTT Inc. If you succumb to any conditions due to excessive drinking it is due to your own failings and not KTT Inc., and as such KTT is not responsible for damages. Get better.

The party camped for the evening with plans to arrive at Camp Vengeance in the early afternoon the next day.  As the rains fell an unusual visitor arrived in camp...of all things a gentle Frost Giant separated from his party, looking for Artis Cimber.  

 Passed Out!:  Camping with group for the night providing some insight of the situation with the ring of winter, Thrym offered some strong giant drink to the party.  The veteran drinker Karn felt the burn but showed no effects.  Arlen on the other hand, passed out after only a few sips of the brew to the amusement of oversized creature...."Little folk can't handle his drink! HA HA".  

Six hours later Arlen regretted his choice and felt the pounding headthrob the rest of the day occasionally raging if irritated.

GM note:  Headache gave Arlen a disadvantage on charisma check rolls. We all had no idea how far this was going to go.  Even a triangle ended up in the water

 Arrival in Camp Vengeance:  "Through the foliage, you see a crude timber fortification—a walled compound with watchtowers and tents inside it, encircled by a ditch bristling with sharpened stakes. A large gatehouse faces the river, on the shore of which are four rowboats tied to a wooden post.  Scattered around the fort are piles of charred human corpses and flayed animal carcasses swarming with flies."   Day 7 had arrived, with the drenching rains, the party arrived in the camp around 11am, greeted by the commander Niles Breakbone. Breakbone's odd behavior was a tip off..feeding birds.  Party members were ordered to assist the Order of  The Gauntlet by transporting the sick back to Port Nyanzaru.

Refusing the order, the party offered instead help healing the sick and offering whatever help they could offer.  Taking a few nights to finally get everyone back on their feet, a thankful Breakbone released the party and offered them a map of the areas explored by the Order of the Gauntlet.

Then it began....the zombie attack in the middle of the night!  AND A ZOMBIE PUKING T-REX!

 To Assist the guards of the camp, the party separated into different watch towers and offered spells and attacks...likely saving the camp from surely being over run by the zombie hoard.  The star of the show was the Zombie T-Rex.  It was if the entire camp came to the call for action against the undead monster.  After the T-Rex jumped the wall on the backs of zombies, Cogar found himself squarely inserted between the jaws of the disgusting creature.  Fortunately,  he was dropped only to find three zombies vomited out of the stomach of the T-Rex.  Some notable area of effect spells for Ka'sias and Peter were immensely helpful culling the zombie hoard.  Arlen of course did his thing dashing here and there shooting off arrows showing off (Not to mention the bird he raged killed earlier and the tent he destroyed).

Johfra in his anger (probably of being so slow) took his frustration out on commander Breakbone for his cowardice.  Luckily Karn stepped in as the voice of reason preventing a major problem with the Oder the Gauntlet.